you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
