Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize