My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
