quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
