I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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