i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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