I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
