we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
