i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
