Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
