It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
