her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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