you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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