not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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