The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
