I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
