glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
