Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
