Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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