Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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