Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
