I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
