Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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