My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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