And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
