she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
