oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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