Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
