i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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