she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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