i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
