My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
