He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
