So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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