Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize