Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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