Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
