You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
