I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
