chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
