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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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