So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
