im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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