My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
