Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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