I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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