My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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