Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
