hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize