ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
