Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he was CRYING into my vagina
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize