i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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