Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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