According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Your cock deserves a montage
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
