I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
