my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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