I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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