did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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