Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
