my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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