It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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