I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
