from now on my penis is your penis
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
